Chris Ruden: Champion of Quitting Last
“It not about what’s going to make you happier. It’s not about what’s going to feel better. Which would make you more proud? When you look back, which decision is going to make you more proud?”
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Courtesy of Chris’ YouTube Channel
Chris Ruden is an elite Powerlifter, entrepreneur, model, and motivational speaker– despite his congenital birth defect leaving him with only two fingers on his left hand and a shorter left arm. Nineteen years into battling his physical situation, he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. But for Chris, losing is not an option.
Chris uses his struggle to inspire people to overcome any adversity they may face in their lives through molding mindsets into resilient fortresses of self-belief. Through humor, logic, and passion, Chris' comedic relatability, yet hard-hitting message inspires the masses.
His education mirrors his experience, as he has a bachelor's degree in exercise science and health promotion as well as a laundry list of certifications and specializations in fitness, therapy, and life coaching.
Connect with Chris Ruden:
Website: chrisruden.com
Instagram: @chrisruden
Show Notes:
[00:04:41] Growing Up Feeling and Looking Different
“Just because of the way I looked, and I didn't grow up in a super nice area or anything. Growing up different, you definitely learn the positives and negatives of being different. And it was a struggle like anyone could imagine at the end of the day, we're all given choices and whether you're aware of them or not, you, you decide or decide not to do certain things based on your circumstances.”
[00:06:19] Chris' Childhood
[00:08:38] Feeling like an Outcast
“I basically lost my identity to my circumstances. And it's not a good feeling to do that. I lived every day. The difference didn't exist. So instead of accepting myself as is, and my disability as part of me, I made my disability myself and didn't accept my overall self, not to mention disabilities is the largest minority in the world, according to the CDC.
So people with disabilities are the largest minority group in the world. So to feel alone among the largest minority group, or to feel alone among type one diabetics who there are 89 million people with diabetes, it's about 10% of that is a type one. But still, you know, not alone in the sense of being alone, we feel alone, but we're not, because a lot of people feel that way, but it ultimately comes down to how you process things that happen to you.”
[00:10:33] When did Chris Start Challenging Assumptions?
[00:13:06] Failing and Failure
“That helped me a lot. Being in the gym and understanding the concept of failure early on or failing. I like to tell people that there's a difference between failing and failure. Everyone fails, but to be a failure. That's a noun. I'm like a person, place, or thing. It's an identity.
Failure is failing constantly and choosing to never get back up and never to keep going. So in the gym, when you fail a set. And you doing bicep curls, but you're doing squats or whatever, or your bicep curling in the squat rack like you shouldn't be. When you're doing these things, and you fail, you don't get upset.
You don't quit. You don't, you know, get into this emotional tirade of like misfortune, and how life sucks, and the universe is against you. You just know so what but outside of the gym. When you fail, you act like the world is over. It's crazy how the same concept of failure gets twisted the second you add emotion to certain things and take emotion out, what you choose to value is what's going to inevitably kill you if you look at it the wrong way.”
[00:16:10] Paying to overcome obstacles
[00:18:25] The stories you tell yourself
“I applaud people like that. I think it's the coolest thing in the world to possess a skill, to create a story from nothing.
My advice is that, like, Hey. I see that you did it this way. Can we try that main character finishing in a different way? You have the skill to tell the story. Can we flip it?
Flip the script literally with the script, because you're the one writing it. Of course, you can. You don't have to contact the producer cause you're the one producing your crappy film.”
[00:19:59] How do you know you can do difficult things?
[00:21:30] Motivation is wrongly placed
“Once you act, you get motivated and then you keep going. So let me explain this for my clients who had a hard time being motivated, how do, how do you stay so motivated? I say, go to the gym today, you're going to do one exercise, you're going to do three reps, and then you're going to go home. That's what I said.
No, this is what you're gonna do. You have a full workout, you have a 30 minute workout, but as soon as you do those three reps, you can go home. How many people do you think went home?
None.”
[00:23:36] Creating Discipline
[00:26:05] Which would make you more proud?
[00:27:11] The journey into powerlifting
[00:29:12] A story that changed his life
“I went there for about 12 days with the Sonia Nabeta Foundation and that I'm not kidding it literally change my life. One out of these 64 kids had a refrigerator. I'm guessing everyone listening has a refrigerator. If you didn't know type one diabetes, you have insulin, and it needs to be refrigerated.
So imagine that type one diabetes means if you don't take insulin, you die. You know, over here, we lived pretty much full lives. Type one diabetes, the average lifespan of a newly diagnosed type one in Africa, is one year. The nurses were stealing their medication and selling it. I ran the sports program, and you know, these kids were already scared of me.
I have a cool prosthetic arm, big muscly guy, you know, and tight tee shirts and white, you know, and they're like, Oh, what is it? What are you?
It took like a day or two to get comfortable with them, but I was fortunate enough to deliver a speech in two different dialects.
And I got to translate the concept of struggle, and we all understood the struggle. After that, We did the sports day, and I was like, I put shoes on, we're going to go play soccer or football, whatever you guys call it. And one of the kids raised his hand, and he said, we don't have shoes. And that killed me, but what killed me more is that they went outside and they played in, their shirts were ripped, and all this stuff and they were so damn happy.
The entire time I was there. There was nothing but gracious and so happy to be with each other and so happy to have me around and just so grateful for what little they have in mind. Came back. I was so angry because I didn't have my newest iPhone. I didn't have the things I wanted. I wasn't good enough.
I created this story about myself, where I never appreciated what I truly had.”
[00:31:21] A new definition of achievement
[00:32:50] Controlled Pessimism
[00:35:20] Stoicism and Controlling the thing you can
[00:39:48] The Power of Authenticity
[00:42:53] Choose where your focus is
[00:46:31] A favorite failure
[00:47:46] Comparing yourself to others
[00:49:27] Where did the idea of all “a work in progress” come from?
[00:51:15] How do you stay present
[00:53:17] Recommended Books
The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
[00:55:26] Synthesizing what you read
[00:57:49] How you learn doesn't matter?
[00:59:46] Don't live your life with supposed to
[01:01:35] Fixing Education
[01:03:22] Reflecting and the compound effect
[01:05:23] What are Chris' little things?
[01:07:57] What is authenticity?
“It's your authenticity to me is truly being who you feel you are regardless of the situation.
So how I talk to you is how I talk to CEOs. It's how I talk on stage. If you think that I go on stage and wear a 10 piece buttoned-up suit and look like a monkey and say raw, raw, raw stuff, that is not how this goes. You don't even have to see me imagine how I probably look for me, who I am and the value I give those don't change.
I don't have to change who I am around, so I don't have my professional voice and my situational voice, and I'm always this way.”
[01:10:38] Bettering yourself and being selfish
[01:14:45] Leaving the world better than we found it
[01:17:00] Sharing what you create
[01:20:36] Bad recommendations
[01:22:24] The desire to be in shape
[01:24:04] Absurd habits that you love
[01:25:48] A new belief or behavior that has improved your life?
[01:26:29] Advice to someone who wants to better themselves?
Other episodes you might enjoy:
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Full Transcript - Chris Ruden: Champion of Quitting Last
[00:04:17] Erich Wenzel: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Feeding Curiosity. And we are joined by Chris Ruden. Hey, Chris.
[00:04:24]Chris Ruden: Hey man, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.
[00:04:25] Erich Wenzel: So Chris, let's give your quick professional bio for everyone so they understand who you are and then we'll unpack it from there.
[00:04:32]Chris Ruden: Awesome. I'm an international keynote speaker, professional powerlifter and disability and type one diabetes advocate.
[00:04:41] Growing Up Feeling and Looking Different
[00:04:41] Erich Wenzel: See, and this is where your story gets super awesome for me, because those last two sentences are really powerful for most people because anyone who has either a disability or any health condition for that matter, loves to.
[00:04:57] Or it's more likely to take those assumptions for themselves and say, I can't be X. And I just think it's such a cool story. And go ahead and just explain. What is the disability, or at least the like overview of what type one diabetes or for those who aren't familiar, because I think a lot of people misconstrue, but the difference between type one diabetes and type two
[00:05:21] Chris Ruden: Oh, absolutely.
[00:05:22] So even bringing up disability or chronic illness, you know, there's tons of stigmas behind it. For me, I was born with a congenital birth defect. I was born through fingers on my left hand and a shorter left arm, and I didn't get type one diabetes, which is the autoimmune disease. Not the metabolic disorder.
[00:05:37]I got type one diabetes at 19 years old, so there was a pretty big gap. Yeah. So I was not born with type one diabetes. It used to be called juvenile diabetes is not called juvenile diabetes anymore. So I grew up different, you know, I grew up looking different, feeling different, being told and felt, you know, different.
[00:05:57] Just because of the way I looked and I didn't grow up in a super nice area or anything. Growing up different, you definitely learn the positives and negatives of being different. And it was a struggle like anyone could imagine at the end of the day, we're all given choices and whether you're aware of them or not, you, you decide or decide not to do certain things based on your circumstances.
[00:06:19] Chris' Childhood
[00:06:19] Erich Wenzel: So how did your parents? Take on this challenge for you being born with the, the hand defect in the shorter left arm?
[00:06:28] Chris Ruden: It's funny that you say that. I'm actually, in the process of writing a book right now and I don't remember a lot of crazy stuff. Like I remember specific stories that in my childhood, you know, how you kind of detach yourself from certain, like painful memories or anything like that.
[00:06:42] I actually called my mom and I was like, Hey mom, can you tell me a little bit more about what happened in my childhood? She was like, Oh, everything was great. You never got bullied, you know? And I was like, man, she doesn't know where, you know, for me, I hid everything from my parents. I didn't want them to know I was being bullied.
[00:06:59] I didn't tell them that I was going through anything, you know? So for them, they're, they got this positive attitude and they almost took the attitude of, you know, if we're positive, we chant positive affirmations, everything will be okay. Did they? It was just because I decided to hide that in hindsight, you know, maybe I shouldn't have done that, but at the same time, I felt a guilt or a, you know, I almost felt embarrassed for my parents that.
[00:07:22] They had a kid that wasn't right. You know, at the time. That's how I felt about myself. You know, you think about the synonyms for disease or disability, weak, broken, useless, helpless, any of those major words, and imagine being labeled those as a kid or like looking up when you're in health class specifically and they say, well, you're healthy if you don't have a disability or a disease.
[00:07:41] And I'm like, damn, I have two of the four. I was like, so I raised my hand and I was like, so am I unhealthy? And the teacher damn near died, you know?
[00:07:52] And I didn't mean to pressure her like that, but honestly I was, I wasn't sure. You know, that's when I had the first exposure of, okay, maybe, maybe the general guidelines, maybe the normal societal stigma or societal labels don't apply to everyone. You know? And you know, a lot of this stuff happened, but for me it was.
[00:08:12] It took me a long time to come to terms with my disability. What a lot of people, you know, if you followed me on social media for a while, I have a decent social media following and all that. I could have my disability for 17 years, you know? And it was one of those things that I did not, I was not comfortable with myself, so much so that I built a huge persona of confidence on discomfort.
[00:08:38] Feeling like an Outcast
[00:08:38] Erich Wenzel: For me, it's interesting because I think. At a young age, many young children, you know, adolescents, we all feel like we're the only ones. Like we were. There's so many of us that I've known who was like, yeah, I always felt like an outcast. Like I was always like my own person. Like they couldn't connect with people.
[00:08:58] But here you are with actual physical and differences that sets you apart from everyone else. People will look at you differently and it's easy for you to look at yourself and be like, well, I'm not like everybody else.
[00:09:10] Chris Ruden: That's one of those things like technically we're not like anyone else.
[00:09:12] Like everyone is an individual. A sense of not just maturity, but age and wisdom, you know, experience to understand that everyone is different. What's funny is, you know, as kids, I never hid my disability.
[00:09:24] They just don't care about anything. They're unapologetically themselves. But somewhere in between we lose ourselves and we start to wear like a mask. You know, when we start to try and blend in to everyone else who is also trying to blend in. So no one really knows who they were. And that was me, a lost sense of identity.
[00:09:41] And I basically lost my identity to my circumstance. And it's not a good feeling to do that. You know? I lived every day the difference didn't exist. So instead of accepting myself as is, and my disability as part of me, I made my disability myself and just didn't accept my overall self, not to mention disabilities is the largest minority in the world, according to the CDC.
[00:10:07] So people with disabilities are the largest minority group in the world. So to feel alone among the largest minority group, or to feel alone among type one diabetics who, you know, there's 89 million people with diabetes, it's about 10% of that is a type one. But still, you know, not alone in the sense of being alone, we feel alone, but we're not, because a lot of people feel that way, but it ultimately comes down to how you process things that happen to you.
[00:10:33] When did Chris Start Challenging Assumptions?
[00:10:33]Erich Wenzel: That makes sense. How did you begin to understand that you needed to have a voice, not only for other people like you, but like breaking down these assumptions that you had for yourself? What was the process or like, do you know the youngest age that you kind of had to start. Like unpacking it, I guess.
[00:10:50] Chris Ruden: Yeah, for sure. I love when people ask me like, Oh, how do you, how do I get to be like, you man? How do I get to travel and grow and do all this cool stuff, be on a TV show at the rock and do all this crazy stuff? I was like, Oh man. Okay. Absolutely. So hide your disability for 17 years. Hate who you are for 20 years. Don't accept who you are, do a lot.
[00:11:09] Or different degrees come out with a degree on top of a lot of student debt and then decide not to pursue that career. There you go. Simple twelves steps. Honestly for me, it, I made a lot of decisions, whether you want to assign an emotional good or bad to them. I made a lot of decisions that took my life in multiple routes.
[00:11:28] At one point I was one of the highest sought after online personal trainers. Now I'm getting to that point where I'm the keynote speaker and I get 40 plus events a year, you know, traveling to speak. I've always been a driven person to compete with myself. I've always wanted to be the best at whatever I do.
[00:11:45] I either won't do something or I'll do it to the best of my ability. So once I discovered that competitive trait, I was like, okay, what can I do? I wanted to get into law because I loved arguing with people and I realized that was the wrong thing to do. That's not a good reason. To do a career, even though it seems tempting.
[00:12:04] It's not. I got into fitness and I started helping a kid with cerebral palsy and I helped him. And it was one of those things that made me realize, okay, fitness is good. You know, fitness helps me overcome my disability. Build muscle. People look at me like, how do I build that body? You know, people tell me I'm lucky.
[00:12:21] I'm like, what do you mean I'm lucky I have a disability and diabetes? I'm not lucky. I just made decisions, you know? Lastly, people think the way I got to where I am is like sexy. Like, Oh, what's your story of success? I'm like, I have the most, the least sexy story of success in the world. Literally. I just didn't stop.
[00:12:41] I was the person who quit last. I didn't finish first. I quit last. Everyone else quit. I won by default. So it's not, it's not glamorous, there's no Disney movie.
[00:12:53] It's just not pretty. It's one of those things that I committed to myself and it took me a long time to overcome my view of myself and my view of my abilities, and I would say honestly, I didn't make that super tough decision until two years ago.
[00:13:06] Failing and Failure
[00:13:06] Erich Wenzel: Wow.
[00:13:07]So before we get to that, that's really interesting, but I really want to unpack like the, the weightlifting aspect and like becoming a personal trainer because I think not only does it show for me that like the gym is this microcosm of where you can find where you can fail in a safe way, and it kind of inoculates you to fear and failure simultaneously where you can figure out like, Hey, look it, I can push myself to my absolute breaking point, but I'm not going to like die, or at least hopefully not.
[00:13:34]Chris Ruden: That helped me a lot. You know, being in the gym and understanding that concept of failure early on or failing, you know, I like to tell people that there's a difference between failing and failure. Everyone fails, but to be a failure. That's a, now I'm like a person, place or thing. It's an identity.
[00:13:49] You know, failure is failing constantly and choosing to never get back up and never to keep going. So in the gym, when you fail a set. And you doing bicep curls, but you're doing squats or whatever, or your bicep curling in the squat rack like you shouldn't be. You know, when you're doing these things and you fail, you don't get upset.
[00:14:08] You don't quit. You don't, you know, get into this emotional tirade of like misfortune and how life sucks and the universe is against you. You just know so what you know. But outside of the gym. When you fail, you act like the world is over. It's crazy how the same concept of failure gets twisted the second you add emotion to certain things and take emotion out, what you choose to value is what's going to inevitably kill you if you look at it the wrong way, you know?
[00:14:37] So when you value things outside of your control and you're so upset about failing regarding something that you. It's a possibility. If you have a possibility of failing, you can't be upset when it happens. You know you are not impervious to failure. Every time you drive your car, you have the possibility of getting a flat tire.
[00:14:54] Does that mean you should be happy when it happens? No, but it should. It means you should be prepared. One of those things. When it happens, you recognize it is a possibility and it was a possibility that you have a nice car or a crappy car. There is always a possibility of a flat with a possibility and flat comes the possibility of putting her back in a tire, getting a new tire.
[00:15:11] Things happen. You can move forward. Life never ends. You're 10 out of 10 in like severity and despair is really like a six out of 10 and if it's a 10 out of 10 and you died, guess what? You don't have to worry about it anymore. Let's be honest. You know, like everything up to this point that you've faced that you thought you couldn't overcome you have. Yup, that's true. You know, and even if you're still going through it right now, there's going to be light at the end of the tunnel. It might be dim, it might not be the color you want, but you will get through it. You'll either accept what is and move forward and move forward. You'll find another way to perceive it.
[00:15:50] What kills me, man, is like, I'm not talking to you right now. I'm talking my former self, cause I get so frustrated with how I used to think, you know,
[00:15:59] Erich Wenzel: Do you see it in your head like this younger version?
[00:16:02]Chris Ruden: I'm literally like, as I'm talking to you, I'm thinking about the person I was and it was just simple decisions that stacked on each other.
[00:16:10] Paying to overcome obstacles
[00:16:10] You know, the whole compound effect. Like it builds on each other and those thoughts that kind of broke me down. Little by little, they took a little piece of me. But I allowed them over and over and over. Inevitably, you know, I was left with not much. So the way I see obstacles now, obstacle course racing.
[00:16:29] Are you familiar with that?
[00:16:30] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, I did. I've done three tough Mudders.
[00:16:32] Chris Ruden: You picked that right? Yeah. Okay. Think about this. People pay hundreds of dollars to actively approach obstacles, have fun overcoming them. Take pictures of them and enjoy them and they brag about the obstacles. Yeah. What the hell is going on?
[00:16:54] That blows my mind because when you have obstacles in real life, you're like, no, no. Like I was supposed to go jump on obstacles. Now I have real obstacles. Now I'm upset for the real one blowing to me. You know that just, I don't get how we can take the same concept of an obstacle and because what? It's fun in one circumstance.
[00:17:20] Why isn't it fun in the other? Why isn't it a challenge? Why isn't it one of those things you're like, Oh, well crap. Okay, what can I do?
[00:17:26] Well, you sleep
[00:17:29] like on an obstacle. And of course, you know, for me, let's say I did a tough Mudder before, and you know, I'm a pro powerlifter, so I see obstacles like monkey bars. I'm like, well, I have one hand this. It probably isn't going to go well, let's be honest. You know that. I'm like, mm. I don't know if you've ever tried to do monkey bars one hand. Kind of impossible. Yeah. So I do the punishment or the, the road less traveled, you know, the whatever the thing is, burpees or anything like that, and then I move on.
[00:17:55] Or I could sit there. And cry and be upset. That they think I suck and I'm just a loser. And you see that downward spiral from nothing. I created it and I dwelled on, you know, the funny thing is that the only thing that exists is the emotion you're attached to the story. Because at the end of the day, there are just monkey bars. There was just the obstacle.
[00:18:19] But how I used to view it and react to it is very different than how I do now.
[00:18:25] The stories you tell yourself
[00:18:25] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. I think it's a really important thing that you're talking about here because most of us, we tell ourselves these stories or these narratives, at least in the negative spectrum, is that they are self feeling prophecies.
[00:18:37] You know, the more you can kick yourself down and they become like, narrowings. Of your perception of the world and it just becomes narrower and narrower and no matter how good things may seem, you can talk yourself into a way why it sucks or why.
[00:18:51] Chris Ruden: I applaud people like that. I think it's the coolest thing in the world to possess a skill, to create a story from nothing.
[00:18:59] My own advice is that like, Hey. I see that you did it this way. Can we try that main character finishing in a different way? You have the skill to tell the story. Can we just flip it?
[00:19:10] Flip the script literally with the script, because you're the one writing it. Of course you can. You know, you don't have to contact the producer cause you're the one producing your crappy film.
[00:19:20] Like people are like, Oh yeah, it's not that easy. Easier said than done. Listen, farting is easier said than done. Okay. I can say the word fart quicker than you can say it. Instead of saying, easier said than done. Why don't you say better done said Because that's a lot more effective. When you say better done than said, you know, you probably don't want to do it, but you have to do it anyways.
[00:19:40] So stop saying, easier said than done. All these things I'm talking about, I live by, I constantly ask myself, is what I'm doing right now going to help me or hurt me? Will doing this, push me forward or will it hold me back? Is this going to help or hurt at that thought process guides my entire life?
[00:19:59] How do you know you can do difficult things?
[00:19:59] Erich Wenzel: How do you know you can do difficult things?
[00:20:02] Chris Ruden: Then it was difficult. Are you okay? How do you know you're strong? Let me ask you this. How would you ever know you're strong?
[00:20:10] Erich Wenzel: You have to just do it. You have to try.
[00:20:12] Chris Ruden: We'll take the gym since, you know, my degree is in exercise science. I don't have to talk about, you have like crazy physiology stuff, but at the end of the day, your one rep max, the one rep that you can live for as heavy as possible.
[00:20:21] You'll only know if you get close to it or try and do it. No, I don't say you should hurt yourself to attempt to see your potential, but I will say strength is only uncovered when it's tested. So how do I know I can do something difficult? There's so many variables with that. Failing now doesn't mean I'm going to fail in the future.
[00:20:39] Filling now might mean I need more time. It might need, I need to attack the problem from a different scenario. It might mean that maybe that's not the problem I should be attacking. You know? So a lot of people. I think they obsess on things. They obsess on their plan for the future. Yes. And it's so fake.
[00:20:57] It doesn't exist. Like we create these beautiful plans. Tell me you don't have twenty vision boards, you know, or the notes section is full of all these amazing things that you're going to do. And you know, I have cobwebs on my thousand notes because we love planning, but we hate executing. Because executing, there's a risk of failing and we still have a negative connotation to failing.
[00:21:20] We still take it personally when in reality, the only one that gives us permission to take things personally is ourselves. Easier said than done. Better done than said.
[00:21:30] Motivation is wrongly placed
[00:21:30] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. It's a really interesting topic because there's so much of this. At least in the social media world now where we have so much around us that makes things seem fluffy and like you have the Gary V's of the world who tried to motivate people, but I think this idea of motivation is like a 5% of the problem or 5% of the equation.
[00:21:51] It's not. It has nothing to do with motivation because motivation lasts about a week.
[00:21:56] Chris Ruden: Okay, so you brought up a good topic. I'm actually making a video on this cool next week, which is super cool. We'll get into this sooner. motivation is wrongly placed. I don't think Gary V wants to motivate. I think he tries to give value and then other people take it as motivation.
[00:22:14] Then he kind of went, he went a little insane with it. Motivation comes after action, not before. That's where people mess up. People think you have to be motivated to do something and that is so, fundamentally wrong. It drives me insane. If you own waited to do things when you were motivated, you would never do them.
[00:22:34] Vice versa. You would only watch Netflix. Cause I'm always motivated to watch Netflix. I'm always motivated to eat snacks. I'm always motivated to be lazy. If you only did things when you were motivated, your life would suck and you would never accomplish the things you want to do, whether however small or big that you want to accomplish.
[00:22:53] Once you act, you get motivated and then you keep going. So let me explain this for my clients who had a hard time being motivated, how do, how do you stay so motivated? I say, go to the gym today, you're going to do one exercise, you're going to do three reps, and then you're going to go home. That's what I said.
[00:23:16] No, this is what you're gonna do. You have a full workout, you have a 30 minute workout, but as soon as you do those three reps, you can go home. How many people do you think went home?
[00:23:25] Erich Wenzel: None.
[00:23:26] Chris Ruden: Zero. Because once they did it, once they acted, they got motivated. Brush one tooth, and then you can stop brushing your teeth.
[00:23:36] Creating Discipline
[00:23:36] You're already there, you're already acting. You might as well keep it up. Then the momentum principle comes into play. Once you start, it's easier to keep going. You have to do it. Andy Frisella said something similar. It's this motivation is the wrong is the wrong question. How do you stay motivated?
[00:23:56] It's how you develop the discipline to do this stuff you need to do even when you don't feel like doing it. It's a choice. It's action action rather than motivation. So please stop YouTube being motivational videos 2020 because there are going to be out. It's still Denzel Washington and ET saying the same thing with some corny music.
[00:24:16] So please make a decision. Make a decision for yourself. I used to be, you know, the disabled diabetic kid. I used to let my circumstances dictate who I was and who I could be until I stopped. And so I acted until I took my glove off in front of millions of people. And that led to the biggest things in my life.
[00:24:35] You know, being on a TV show with The Rock, working with Nike and Tommy Hilfiger, doing crazy things all around the country, all around the world, from Africa to all over the United States, all from deciding to do the things I need to do. Deciding to stop hiding my hand. Instead of saying, when I feel motivated, I'll take my glove off and stop hiding my hand.
[00:24:55] I said, let me take my glove off. Yeah, we don't have a sense of conditional happiness. If I had this, then I would be happy if then we always have this conditional happiness and if we had this unconditional happiness, I would be happy if no, if I did this, then maybe it would be happy. Start with the do not the, if you get what I'm saying.
[00:25:15] Erich Wenzel: Absolutely. I personally think about this as like habits like, or frameworks rather. Cause I'm an engineer by training. So I, you say the motivation is going to run out and there's going to be days or you're not going to feel like it or maybe you drank too much the night before, since it's new year's Eve right now.
[00:25:29] And, It's about being able to fall back on your framework that you have in place and say, I go to the gym. It doesn't matter what I did yesterday. It's like, you know, Monday through Fridays I go to the fucking gym and then that's all it takes. It just goes to the gym.
[00:25:42] Chris Ruden: No, it really does. And like you say framework cause you are much more intelligent than I am.
[00:25:46] Cause that, that word drives me insane because I'm more of an artistic person right here framework. And I'm like, Oh God, that makes math all over again. Really. I guess my framework would be, you know, is this going to help me or hurt me. Yeah, exactly.
[00:25:58] Erich Wenzel: Is this different word for different people and whatever flavor that it sounds like it makes sense to you.
[00:26:03] It doesn't matter.
[00:26:05] Which would make you more proud?
[00:26:05] Chris Ruden: Talking to a friend and she was asking me what she should do, she gave me options of, you know, and people think I'm a therapist cause I'm a keynote speaker and that's just not how it works, but I'm helping people. And she said, what of these two options do you think I should do? I said, I asked her this.
[00:26:21] Which option would make you more proud? Yeah. That's literally what she said. It's so funny.
[00:26:31] Erich Wenzel: It's a good response to that.
[00:26:33] Chris Ruden: It's not about what's going to make you happier. It's not about what's gonna feel better. Which would make you more proud. When you look back, which decision is going to make you more proud?
[00:26:43] Are you going to be more proud that you stayed on the couch and snacks, or are you going to be more proud that you made it to the gym or you're going to be more proud that you did that hour of emailing that you showed off? Or are you going to be more proud that you just lollygagged and you're swiping through Instagram?
[00:26:56] You know what action is going to make you more proud? Is it going to help you or hurt you? Whatever framework, like you said, is going to help. You have to be real with yourself though. You can't just do it when you want to. You have to apply that all the time.
[00:27:11] The journey into powerlifting
[00:27:11] Erich Wenzel: So for you, when you started getting into even amateur powerlifting, like how did that change your perception of yourself?
[00:27:22] Cause obviously it's like you're getting external validation now for the first time, but you know, you're getting recognized for something that not a whole lot of people can do. What was like that journey?
[00:27:32] Chris Ruden: At the time, I would say, you know, I was right after I was diagnosed with type one diabetes. So you know, Hey, you're going to have to take insulin shots four to 12 times a day for the rest of your life.
[00:27:40] Have fun. And I was like, okay, what can I do? You know, I wanted to be a bodybuilder because having a disability being a symmetrical, they told me I couldn't and I'm a stubborn asshole. So I was like, yes. So I took that as a challenge. You know, and I'm the kind of person that I'm walking next to an old lady.
[00:27:57] She doesn't know where to race, but I'm winning. That's who I am. Honestly, I was super competitive. The bad thing is I still had a pretty defeating mentality where everyone thought I was like most confident ever thought I was like the coolest dude on the block and so inspirational and all this stuff.
[00:28:15] But for me, you know, I did my first powerlifting competition and I won against able body competitors and I was like, Oh, I probably won. Just because you know, everyone thinks. Oh, here's a disability disabled kid. You know? Even though I knew numbers wise, I beat everyone, but I always tried to validate my win with a loss that self-deprecating, that, that narrative, you know, that you create about yourself.
[00:28:38] So as much as you know, I don't, I feel like I didn't really get to enjoy all of my wins until recently where I get to look back and I was like, wow, you know, I did do that. I am allowed to be proud of my accomplishments. I don't ride on past accomplishments, but. Loud to be proud.
[00:28:55] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, that's, it's an interesting thing because I think people don't normally look at their achievements in their life, whatever they've accomplished and say they're proud of what they've done.
[00:29:08] A lot of people think they're just so average that they have nothing worth chasing more.
[00:29:12] A story that changed his life
[00:29:12] Chris Ruden: We're chasing more and more and more. I'll tell you a quick story. right after I did the TV show with the rocket, it's, I can play the first season. And right after that I got invited to go over to Uganda, Africa to speak to 64, type one diabetic kids, in the village of Aruba, which is by South Sudan and Congo, which are like the worst places in Africa right now.
[00:29:33] I went there for about 12 days with the Sonia Nabeta Foundation and that I'm not going, I'm not getting that literally changed my life. A one out of these 64 kids had a refrigerator. I'm guessing everyone listening has a refrigerator. If you didn't know type one diabetes, you have insulin and it needs to be refrigerated.
[00:29:52] So imagine that, type one diabetes means if you don't take insulin, you die. You know, over here we lived pretty much full lives. Type one diabetes, the average lifespan of a newly diagnosed type one in Africa is one year. The nurses were stealing their medication and selling it. I ran the sports program and you know, these kids were already scared of me.
[00:30:17] I have a cool prosthetic arm, big muscly guy, you know, and tight tee shirts and white, you know, and they're like, Oh, what is it? What are you, you know,
[00:30:25] Erich Wenzel: you're an alien to them.
[00:30:28] Chris Ruden: It took like a day or two to get comfortable with them, but I was fortunate enough to deliver a speech in two different dialects.
[00:30:34] And I got to translate the concept of struggle and we all understood struggle. After that, We did the sports day and I was like, I put shoes on, we're going to go play soccer or football, whatever you guys call it. And one of the kids raised his hand and he said, we don't have shoes. And that killed me, but what killed me more is that they went outside and they played in, their shirts were ripped and all this stuff, and they were so damn happy.
[00:31:02] The entire time I was there. There was nothing but gracious and so happy to be with each other and so happy to have me around and just so grateful for what little they have in mind. Came back. I was so angry because I didn't have my newest iPhone. I didn't have the things I wanted. I wasn't good enough.
[00:31:21] A new definition of achievement
[00:31:21] I created this story about myself where I never appreciated what I truly had. And the reason I brought this story up, I wasn't gonna bring that up, but you said the word achievement and it hit me wrong. People are never proud of their achievements. It's because the word achievement to people means greater than what you have.
[00:31:38]That's not the true definition for some people dealing with, I don't know if you've ever dealt with depression or anxiety. I have a lot sometimes, and achievement is getting out of bed and doing this stuff you said you were going to do. That's an achievement. But if you didn't win the lotto or you didn't star in the newest movie, that's you're not, you didn't have an achievement for real.
[00:31:58] Like people like all you have a Chris, you were on the TV show at the Rocky. I lost. Okay. It's one of those things that you could tell yourself a narrative about other people, how it's so much better, but stop comparing your highlight reel to everyone else's. You'll start comparing what you did yesterday today.
[00:32:15] Start comparing, you know, what you said you were going to do versus what you actually do. Start committing to yourself instead of committing to other people's lives that you know nothing about.
[00:32:28] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, I mean, I, I couldn't have said it any better because what I was getting at is not nearly as eloquent as it way you're putting it, but it's just, we pretend like we're still average, at least here in the U S that we don't have anything to add to the conversation. And at least the average person. And yet when they look at someone like the rock, like you keep mentioning, and they say, look at how good he is and are looking at how I could never be that.
[00:32:50] Controlled Pessimism
[00:32:50] Right. Or it's like, it must be nice. Or Oh, they'll become cynical, which is a whole different can of worms. That's a whole nother, yeah.
[00:32:55] But for me, I like to look at things and you definitely have this sense of purpose around what you say, where it's like anchoring to something greater to yourself. You look at other people in your, you're grateful.
[00:33:08] And would you consider yourself an optimistic person?
[00:33:12] Chris Ruden: No,
[00:33:14] Erich Wenzel: because you're able to push very hard. Obviously
[00:33:17]Chris Ruden: I don't consider myself an optimistic person. I consider myself a cynical realist. If you want to be super real, I believe that, A lot of things are controlled pessimism, so to speak. Is this something that kind of narrative, a stoicism changed the way I think as well.
[00:33:32] That was another, like I love stoicism.
[00:33:33] Erich Wenzel: You sound like obstacles the way earlier,
[00:33:36] Chris Ruden: a hundred percent Ryan holiday. And then I went so deep into it that I had to stop cause I was like, Oh my God, I'm going to be a philosopher if I go anymore. Yeah, man. I think, just having, being able to control emotion to the point where I.
[00:33:53] Optimism to me is sometimes too much to where your fake Etsy, your makeup type stuff. I hate overly positive, like respect to Tony Robins and everything he does, but that's just not my style. He has a core concept that's amazing, but a lot of people love the raw, raw stuff, and that's not me. So I don't believe in like everything's going to work out great.
[00:34:13] My version is, everything's gonna work out,
[00:34:17] Erich Wenzel: but do the work.
[00:34:18] Chris Ruden: I mean, it's literally, things are gonna happen. Not good, not bad. I'm just choosing to take the emotion out of it, because, yeah. Your day, you know, there's that story. I think there's a Chinese proverb, everything's a Chinese Proverbs, be honest.
[00:34:30] yeah.
[00:34:32] You know, the kid breaks his arm and the neighbor goes to dad. Oh, that's so unfortunate. He says, we'll see. And then they go to draft, you know, for the war. And they don't draft him because he breaks his leg and the neighbor comes in and he's like, Oh my God, you're so lucky. He's like, we'll see. And then they're looking for people who have broken legs to a certain job.
[00:34:49] It's like, Oh, that's so unfortunate. It's like, well see, you know, it's one of those things that, yeah, whatever you want, whatever way you want to look at it, that's great. Just make sure it benefits your future and make sure it doesn't hurt you. Absolutely nothing can hurt you without your permission.
[00:35:04] Seneca,
[00:35:06] I love stoic philosophy, and I don't know if it's, it's something to do with how, I just like to think because I read it and I was like, Oh my God, here's this thing. That's a philosophy and you know, it makes sense.
[00:35:18] Erich Wenzel: It's an ism.
[00:35:20] Stoicism and Controlling the thing you can
[00:35:20] Chris Ruden: I'm so mad that I took a philosophy class in college and they didn't teach heavily on stoicism in school.
[00:35:28] It could have changed my life, you know, the way I think about it. So for some people, like stoicism goes a little deep into suicide. Some other things that I recognize are not widely available to the public. So I mean, it's not really modern. So, I just love the concept of being in as much control as possible. Not to say you're a robot or a stone or not human, but being able to control the one thing you have, you can only control one thing and that's how you react.
[00:35:56] It's hard, don't get me wrong, but that's literally the one thing you possess. Control over. It's the only thing you can ever do, ever, ever, ever. so we only have one thing to do. Why not work on controlling it right. I, I,
[00:36:11] Erich Wenzel: I like to sum up stoicism because a lot of people think it's like the unemotional military type. If you are, you know, the stoic, I like to sum it up as it helps you train for negative activity. Controlling flexing that muscle so you're not, you know, someone cuts you off while you're driving and you're not pounding at your steering wheel and in the borderline road rage or something like that, you know, or you have a bad meeting with your boss.
[00:36:34] Chris Ruden: I don't believe there's negative activity. I don't believe there's positive activity. I believe there's just activity, you know? So when someone cuts you off, you get upset, right? Yeah. But when someone cuts someone else off 10 cars ahead, why don't you get upset. Because it's not about you because we possess positive and negative things when they are about us.
[00:36:56] If so, then the cutting off is not the problem. The way you think life revolves around you is
[00:37:03] that's a nasty one.
[00:37:05] So that's the problem I have.
[00:37:07] Erich Wenzel: So removing yourself from the center of your own life.
[00:37:11] Chris Ruden: Oh my God. That's a great way you put it. Being able to say. What I'd like to accomplish is this. The possibilities are this, you know, I'm going to use very specific examples.
[00:37:22] I love speaking to do it for us in my life. I'm getting into more commercial acting and doing some cool stuff with people with disabilities like Zappos and all of these companies. I would like to continue doing that. At any time. These companies that I work with could drop me, but also they could also bring me to great Heights.
[00:37:40] Either way, I will be alive and either way I will continue because my mission is to be the person that I never had growing in my mission. Unwavering, regardless of my circumstance. When you can say something like that to yourself, positive, negative, those things don't matter because my mission is always there, positive or negative.
[00:38:02] Okay.
[00:38:03] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, that's, that's super powerful in the sense of you're not,
[00:38:08] Chris Ruden: it was, it was hard to get to this like, to, to really fight with myself about like, well no, that's not, that's not, you can't do that. There's good and bad. There is good and bad and like, wait, why am I telling myself cause I have to, am I also telling myself that I have to get married and I have to go to college and I have to have a white picket fence?
[00:38:27] Like, do I really have to. Not really, you know, the way we convince ourselves of necessity
[00:38:34] Erich Wenzel: Man you just challenge all sorts of assumptions. Don't you do?
[00:38:38] Chris Ruden: Cause I had all these assumptions about myself and then I was like, wait, this is so much bigger than me. Other people, you know, have faced this when I expose my glove and showed my hand, you know, I had hundreds and hundreds of emails from Reddit and all kinds of things that people like.
[00:38:54] I've been hiding my disability for 20 years from my family. I'm like, wait from their own family.
[00:38:59] All right. We'll see what we do. I'm like, how do you like, you went to sleep like with his shoes on and stuff like ridiculous stuff and I was like, damn. So many other people have it just like me. I'm not going to say worse.
[00:39:12] I'm not going to say better. They just have it because for me, my disability never changed. Did my disability get better? No. My perspective, my perspective of my situation did and that could have changed at any time.
[00:39:28] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. Does it do it for you? By being able to put your message out there, because I guarantee there's someone out there who might be like, this guy seems full of it or something along those lines.
[00:39:40] Chris Ruden: Oh, absolutely. If they talked to me for a long enough time, they're like, okay, you know, he's actually this asshole all the time.
[00:39:48] The Power of Authenticity
[00:39:48] Erich Wenzel: See, I'm getting this really powerful sense of authenticity from you. Like the message you're saying is
[00:39:53] Chris Ruden: who I am. I love it. What I do like you, you can go follow me on Instagram. I haven't been posting a lot.
[00:39:58] I don't care if it doesn't go to the Instagram algorithm. I don't care if I get millions of followers or not. Like I don't care about this cause what I care about is giving people the opportunity to get a better quality of life I didn't have and now I have it and I refuse to let other people that I know or care about not better.
[00:40:16] Their perspective to potentially have a better quality of life. I can't make everyone a millionaire. I'm not a millionaire, but I can make everyone feel like their life is better without changing much. I truly believe that. Like it's not a positivity, hippie type shit. Like I believe that you were able to understand some of these concepts and practice some of these concepts.
[00:40:38] You're so good at practicing negativity. Why not practice one of these concepts that could make your life a little less shitty? . That's it. That's what I'm convinced to do and that's why I love speaking and that's why I love doing what I'm doing. I don't, I'm not an influencer. I hate that fucking stand.
[00:40:54] That difference between being an influencer and being influential, one is important. One is a waste of space. I don't care about monetizing my personality. I care about helping other people think better. That's it.
[00:41:08] Erich Wenzel: That's how I think about this stuff because it's, there's like so much potential locked in books and in general just conversations.
[00:41:15] Like you can't parse something down to five minutes and say, look at, here's like the most impactful thing. Like no.
[00:41:21] Chris Ruden: The funny thing is like if I would have listened to this podcast when I was 16, 17 I'm like, these guys are full of shit. Why? One because I wasn't in your face. Cause now if I'm in your face, you will see I am not full of shit.
[00:41:36] I wasn't ready. Not that I wasn't ready for the message. I wasn't ready to act.
[00:41:42] Erich Wenzel: Yeah.
[00:41:44] Chris Ruden: I was not uncomfortable enough. I was in this purgatory of, it's not as good as I want it to be, but it's not bad enough to change.
[00:41:52] Erich Wenzel: What do you think it takes for someone to get the message of like. They've just kind of gotten to the point where they need something to kickstart their engine, so to speak.
[00:42:04] Chris Ruden: I think you have to be tired of your own shit.
[00:42:08] Erich Wenzel: Cause that was my story. And at the end of high school, I was in a self-defeating spiral and telling myself I wasn't good enough. I'll never be X, Y, or Z or athletic or any of that stuff that most nerdy type kids tell themselves. And I remember sitting there one day and I kind of had this realization of like, what the fuck?
[00:42:30] Like if I keep telling myself this story, this narrative, I'm going to make this a self fulfilling prophecy. Like everything I keep telling myself will actually become a reality, all of my friends are gonna stop wanting to talk to me because I'm just this negative person and never wants to be like, who wants to be around the negative person all the time?
[00:42:47] Chris Ruden: And I'm like, 100%. Like
[00:42:49] Erich Wenzel: at the end of the day, it's just you. Like you are the only one who can take care of yourself.
[00:42:53] Choose where your focus is
[00:42:53] Chris Ruden: It really is, and I like, I don't mean to be a fortune cookie, but I speak in these things like what's your hope for magnifying? Like think about that for a second. Like what you choose to think about all the time becomes, you know what's in your face.
[00:43:07] It's literally what you can see. Like you can look at your laptop right now and everything in the background is blurry. Even look past your laptop and notice all the things on the wall. You have the ability to choose where your focus is. And sometimes we do it subconsciously and we choose the stuff that brings us down.
[00:43:22] And sometimes we're almost comfortable with it. There's this idea of like controlled chaos that we love and I still kind of live in that sometimes you don't trust me. I still go through my bouts of depression and I allow myself to feel certain things and then I pushed myself out of it as much as possible because beyond what I want out of life, I want to make sure that other people are that a kid.
[00:43:41] Struggling with a disability or a disease. Never has to go through what I went through. My why or my reason is bigger than my selfish little crappy feeling at the time, you know? So don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect. I did not just sit around and like. Quote myself all day. I really don't like I'm formal person.
[00:44:01] I'm super normal. I love speaking because not only can I speak on stage, but the second I'm on stage, I have tons of people come up and talk to me about personal things that they didn't feel like sharing in front of the room and those personal, intimate conversations that I enjoy happening more and more than talking about mental health.
[00:44:18] And it's just so fascinating how. We recognize there's a problem with the way we talk to ourselves, but we'll never talk to the people we love that way. So if someone you love, told you they were struggling with the same problems you have, you would give them incredible advice, but for yourself, you don't take the same advice.
[00:44:36] Why. That's the problem.
[00:44:39] Erich Wenzel: Because we're our own worst critics.
[00:44:42] Chris Ruden: We really are. And we're so quick to give advice and it's a very similar scenario, but for us it's like, yeah, yeah, but no. Okay, well, why not? Yeah. I'm the kind of person that, you know, the second you express interest in getting a better quality of life, I'm going to pressure you.
[00:44:57] Some people like that, some people hate it. The people who hate it are the people who aren't ready.
[00:45:01] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. I, I think it's, I think it's really important what you're saying here, because you have a really deep seated sense of responsibility coming through with your words. Because it's not that you're just saying this, this, these fluffy things, or, I mean, you almost take it to a set step to remove any of the fluff, even positive or negative, and just.
[00:45:20] Say it bluntly. Basically.
[00:45:23] Chris Ruden: I've always been rough around the edges type person that like I just, I don't want to be seen as a fluffy person, but at the end of the day, your perception of me is not my responsibility, not my responsibility is to take the value that I feel I'm giving. And stuff it down your throat.
[00:45:40] At the end of the day, you will thank me because I would have thanked me because I wish I had someone to make me uncomfortable enough to listen to the problems that I was going through. You know? I, I don't want to sit here and I'm not on a podium preaching down to you. I'm literally trying to have a conversation with you and not you who's hosting this right now, but the person listening and the person's like, damn, maybe I should do something.
[00:46:02] That's the person I'm trying to have conversation with because I view you. As I viewed myself and everyone was at a certain point, I'm still at a certain point in trying to level up cause I always believe in progress, you know? And yeah. This is just some of the stuff I've learned through my own mistakes, my own problems, my own fuck ups.
[00:46:19] And I'm just trying to give advice. A smart person learns from their mistakes, but a wise person learns from other people's mistakes. So let me tell you, I have failed more times than a lot of people would ever care to.
[00:46:31] A favorite failure
[00:46:31] Erich Wenzel: Do you have a favorite failure ? I know that's a strange question.
[00:46:35]Chris Ruden: Losing $30,000 on an app was fun.
[00:46:38] That was good. So people are like, people like, dude, you're so successful. You're a powerlifter. All this stuff is okay. You try this growing up or you know, going hafting to go to the church for food and you know, that was your family. Then, you know, dealing with the disability, then having type one diabetes, you have to spend 13 to $20,000 a year for your medical expenses.
[00:46:59] Going into powerlifting, winning a few, missing your world record going on a TV show, losing internationally, losing $30,000 on an app, traveling across the country, moving for a business that didn't work, having to move back. So when people ask me, what does it take. It takes the sense of resiliency to be like, all right, no matter how many times I fuck up, if my goal is bigger than what could happen to me, I'm just going to keep going.
[00:47:27] Cause at the end of the day, if it takes 99 fuck ups, you have to fuck up 99 times. Stop putting a limit on how many times you're allowed to mess up. It's okay. It really is okay. And stop comparing yourself to the next person, especially on social media.
[00:47:46] Comparing yourself to others
[00:47:46] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. It's, it's a really powerful thing to self limit the comparison effect. Especially like if we're going to keep pulling on the gym thread, it's like so easy nowadays where you can look, you can Google anything workout and find someone who's got a better physique than you, or can lift more weight than you.
[00:48:06] Chris Ruden: Remember, that's the thing we're talking about. Yeah. what you focused on magnifies. Yep. You'll look at the one person with the muscles and the abs. Like I see people look at me when I workout. You'll look at the one person with muscles and abs and you won't look at the hundred people behind you on this, on the treadmill, trying to lose weight.
[00:48:23] Yup. So you see one person out of hundreds of people and you're like, wow, I suck. What the fuck is going on? Yeah. You know, I did that. I still catch myself sometimes. I'm like, Oh, he's bigger. He's stronger. I'm like, wait a minute. This. This is not a scarcity model of the pie where if he's bigger or she's better, I'm less good.
[00:48:46] My value doesn't waiver because someone else has value. That's not how this works, but we think like that we're in a competitive state of like, especially with social media, they're pictures nicer, they're prettier, they have a better smile. They have better this. They have better that. Because they have better this, they're going to have better that we created such a good narrative for this person that we don't even know.
[00:49:06] Stop and rewrite yourself into that story.
[00:49:10] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, because quite frankly, if you're at the gym or you're trying to better yourself, you're winning period.
[00:49:16] Chris Ruden: At the end of the day, you're doing what you need to do. Like nothing can speed it up. It's a time process. Anything success related, you know, Jim financial relationships.
[00:49:25] Takes time and consistent effort.
[00:49:27] Where did the idea of all “a work in progress” come from?
[00:49:27] Erich Wenzel: Where did this idea of process oriented come from? Did you have a coach or a mentor or someone, or is this like being able to understand that you're always a work in progress in whatever you choose to?
[00:49:38] Chris Ruden: This is all rough around the edges. This is not, I did not hire coaches.
[00:49:42] There's not, and not to say if I could go back, I would. If I could change a lot of methods. I, that's why I say my story of success is very unsexy. And if there are things that, if I can help people skip some of those steps and some of those stupid mistakes, that's, that's what I ultimately want to do.
[00:49:59] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, cause I mean you, you come off as a really self motivated learner, but it's like one of those things, it's, I always am fascinated by the person who can just say, I'm never fully complete. I'm never at my edge. I'm trying to push my edge,
[00:50:11] Chris Ruden: There's never going to be a time where I say, I made it. I'm addicted to continuing.
[00:50:16] Yeah. I looked into that, you know, I respect and sometimes envy people who are just content and that's something I might, something I'm working on. One of my biggest flaws is not being happy with the present moment and it takes me consciously, it takes conscious effort to really say I appreciate where I am right now, regardless of what I want to accomplish.
[00:50:38] I appreciate where I am right now. I saw it in a lot of my clients too, and in myself and my own body training. You know. It's okay to want more. Right? As long as you appreciate what you already have. Yes, but we'll talk about body positivity or anything like that. You can love your body in the process of wanting or striving for a goal.
[00:51:01] That's okay, but what you cannot do is say your body sucks. You need a better body. Because at the end of the day, when you get that better body, you still have a shitty mindset and no amount of abs will make up for a shitty mindset.
[00:51:15] How do you stay present?
[00:51:15]Erich Wenzel: so where are you able to. Pull your, how do you pull yourself into the present, basically to appreciate the present moments, be it, you know, maybe just enjoying a run or workout or going to dinner with friends or something like that. How do you pull yourself to enjoy those moments more?
[00:51:36]Chris Ruden: some of my biggest skills are lifting heavy weight, eating snacks, and spiraling out of control mentally.
[00:51:43] So to stop that spiral. I have to really like to bring myself back to the present and just say, you're working towards what you want. You won't have it right now, so stop expecting it. You, you have to be able to, I feel like self communication is a lost art and a lost skill. We do not know how to communicate with ourselves, and yet we expect other people to communicate with us and we expect our communication with other people to be awesome.
[00:52:12] We think that, Oh, you know, I can get with this person. I'm going to have a relationship with this person. I can build this business relationship, all these things, but you don't even know how to talk to yourself. You don't even know how to tell. Can you talk yourself down off the ledge? You don't know how to like appreciate it and respect yourself if you can't do it to yourself.
[00:52:28] How could you ever do it fully to someone else?
[00:52:30]Erich Wenzel: Yeah. I think it just starts with you.
[00:52:34] Chris Ruden: It really, it starts with the awareness of what you're doing. Like, what are you doing? What do you, what are your thoughts and your behaviors doing to how you are right now? And like, are you making it better or worse? Back to that concept, are you making it better or worse?
[00:52:50] you were saying how I developed some of these skills. I'm a big reader, reading and audio books, so. I have a big collection behind me in my office. I have a big whiteboard. And, I, I like writing down certain quotes, certain ideas, certain concepts that has helped me to learn better or understand or remember.
[00:53:08] So being aware, being able to communicate with yourself, being aware and constantly learning is something that keeps me from being stagnant.
[00:53:17] Recommended Books
[00:53:17] Any favorite books or most gifted books.
[00:53:20] For sure. Obstacles Is the Way was the original since then I’ve read every one of Ryan holiday's books. Also David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell is incredible.
[00:53:30]I'm trying to think what else off the top of my head. I think the obstacle is the way and egos enemy are like my super main go tos.
[00:53:37] Erich Wenzel: Cool. Yeah, those are both fantastic books. I did listen to both of them and I got a lot out of them myself and kind of put a little Easter egg in there. I do have a tattoo of the Memento Mori and the Amore Fati on my chest.
[00:53:52] I got it as I keep the coins on my desk at my computer as these little daily reminders of no matter how good or bad or whatever or otherwise it is. I just have these little things like, yep, just appreciate and right now and, and when it gets hard and you just keep going,
[00:54:11] Chris Ruden: that's dope though.
[00:54:12] Like, that's really dope. Like, I love. I love the concept of, you know, like you said, sourcing, but like there's so many good books, and you said there's a lot of knowledge trapped in books and something you can do relatively cheap for free. You know that you can go to our library, you can, you know, spend $5 $10 and get audiobooks on audible and download those and listen to those while you're at the gym.
[00:54:35] That's what I do. Listen to them on your long drive to work. Listen to them instead of doing something else that's not going to push you forward a little bit. Give yourself 30 minutes a day. Give yourself two minutes a day. To listen to an audiobook for one. I guarantee you'll listen for more than two minutes.
[00:54:52] We'll be happy you did, because a lot of people are like, where'd you get this information? This knowledge? I'm like, Oh, I guess it was in a book I read and I'm like, what book? I'm like, Oh, this one. They're like, Oh, that's awesome. You know the light, which is an incredible book, and it taught me how to deal with people and communicate.
[00:55:08] There's just so many that. You know, I didn't even think about it until you asked me this question. I'm like, damn, there are a lot of books that I learned. When people ask me, Oh, did anyone influence you? I'm quick to say no because I'm not a. I think that's my ego thing. Talking like not putting people on pedestals, buy books for sure.
[00:55:25] Definitely books.
[00:55:26] Synthesizing what you read
[00:55:26] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. I think it's, I think it's format in, in many ways, because a book takes a lot of time for an author to write, and then it also takes the user, the reader rather to, to. Absorb that information. And then I think the missing component for most reading is then to synthesize what you learned from the book.
[00:55:44] You know, what's the last chapter in the last chapter of the book, or the chapter of the book is what you got out of it, you know, what are the key takeaways that you got out of that book? And that was always my big thing. And I love books and it took me a long time to actually get into nonfiction. but now I am a voracious reader.
[00:56:01] I read constantly, I'm listening to audiobooks constantly, and I'm listening to high quality interview podcasts constantly. And so I just tried to aggregate as much of that information and say, okay, here's all this stuff. And I know most people don't have enough time or the mental bandwidth to even absorb half of that information.
[00:56:21] And it's tried to you know, get the top 10 things to think about, or here's an idea and like run with it, or you know, all that stuff because it's just
[00:56:32] Chris Ruden: There are times where, you know, if I don't have time or the mental capacity to really sit down and read, you know, sometimes I'm not going to lie. I will look up the best quotes of a certain book.
[00:56:45] I will look up those quotes and then I'll take those quotes and I'll apply them to my own life. And if I really dig, I start going off on a tangent of looking up in different information. You know, I give myself a specific amount of time to do this, and I feel like it's great to just expand your thought process and challenge yourself.
[00:57:01] Not to mention you're going to have a really cool caption for Instagram later. So come on, can we benefit?
[00:57:09] Erich Wenzel: Or you're gonna sound really smart at the bar with your friends.
[00:57:11] Chris Ruden: Exactly. It just make sure you don't fuck it up.
[00:57:14] Erich Wenzel: Oh, it's so good. It's so funny because it's like some of these things, when you're, when you're like younger or something, you don't have a, a good way of articulating your interests, especially if it's intellectually driven because you just haven't spent enough time thinking about them.
[00:57:30] But then once you have enough, you know, it's baked into your brain along enough and you just start talking about things. People are like, wow, you actually know a lot of stuff. I'm like, well, it just start for one thing and then you'll be,
[00:57:42] Chris Ruden: you'd be surprised like how much you retain and you're not meant to retain everything, but certain things will resonate with you more than others.
[00:57:49] How you learn doesn't matter?
[00:57:49] And I found that and you just have to try, try him out. You know, try audio books, try books, try reading cliff notes if you want, like, I don't care what you do, just whatever you need to do to better yourself. And regardless of what people say, like, you know, there'll be the super serious readers who are like, Oh, if you're listening to an audio book, you're not a real reader.
[00:58:08] And for people like that, honestly, like. The best advice I could ever say to them is like, is literally just to go fuck yourself. You know?
[00:58:19] Erich Wenzel: It's actually funny. There's new research that they're saying that the reading and listening are there. They are used for different purposes. Basically. There's no cheating.
[00:58:30] It's just how much you're going to absorb and being able to refine it, reference it.
[00:58:35] Chris Ruden: There's so many variables. Like when you're reading a book or you're truly reading a book, are you comprehending the book for me? And I know writing down certain parts helped me retain things better. That's just what I do when I'm not really into it, I just put it on in the background and maybe I'll get something, maybe I won't.
[00:58:47] It doesn't matter because I'm not judging myself. I'm not grading myself. I'm out of school. You know, I'm not doing this for a grade. I'm not doing this for you to be impressed by my books. I'm doing this because I want to get something out of it and I want to help solve the problem. Not my problem, but other people's problems.
[00:59:00] So I guess reasoning has to be there and the drive to do it, but give yourself a little time to do it and you'd be surprised.
[00:59:07] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, I think that's, I think that's an interesting thing to say or to unpack there is, is the. Giving yourself or having a reason to push yourself to try anything. Because I think that's half of the problem is, is a lot of people go to like the places that you're supposed to learn in quotation marks, school and college, and then people pick something that they're really not actually interested in because they're worried about a different motive. Which is how much money are they gonna make at the end of the day?
[00:59:32] Chris Ruden: Absolutely. And I'm surprised we still even read books, you know, because we were forced to do it when we didn't want to. Yeah. You know, the way we, the way school kind of taught us, you know, formal education. I'm surprised I still don't even want to read a book.
[00:59:46] Don't live your life with supposed to
[00:59:46] You know, the, the thing you said that I really have to focus on as supposed to. I hate that the way we are supposed to be. You know, like the,
[00:59:58] Erich Wenzel: I say it in quotes,
[01:00:01] Chris Ruden: like literally from life, like when, when it's a true thing, like technically we're supposed to go to school, we're supposed to read books.
[01:00:08] We're supposed to, technically I'm supposed to be less than.
[01:00:13] Erich Wenzel: Yes.
[01:00:14] Chris Ruden: Technically
[01:00:15] Erich Wenzel: by society's standards, at least
[01:00:17] Chris Ruden: supposed to, and honestly, don't live your life. And this is for everyone. I do it. Don't live your life on supposed to because if you're living your life on, supposed to, you're limiting your potential and your ability to do something because no one who ever did anything great did something because they were supposed to.
[01:00:35] Honestly, probably just something they weren't supposed to, and now it's incredible. So, yeah, not something we need to go do illegal things. I'm just telling you to, you know, don't, don't limit yourself based on what you think you're supposed to do.
[01:00:49] Erich Wenzel: Man, you're such a Maverick in the sense of challenging the assumptions that are.
[01:00:53] You know, placed on, I mean, you were born with those assumptions and then you just challenge everything. You're just like, you know what? If I'm already going to start with it, let's just keep questioning all of it. And I, I think it's so good.
[01:01:04] Chris Ruden: It's a part, you know, because I want to break this stigma that a lot of people face with a disability or diabetes.
[01:01:11] You know, I want to break all those stigmas and parts, but just cause I'm stubborn man like that's the honest truth. I'm too stubborn to accept anything. You know, I hope that this kind of stuff helps someone out there to just think a little bit differently and challenge their own stigmas and their own roadblocks and whatever obstacles, you know, treat it like something fun.
[01:01:30] And even if it's not fun, just know that it'll suck less once you get through it. Yeah.
[01:01:35] Fixing Education
[01:01:35] Erich Wenzel: I think it's so cool for me because like when I was in school and I finished my degree only six months ago, technically, but I couldn't wait to be done because I was like, yes, I can finally leave and learn whatever I want to in the way that I want to.
[01:01:52] I don't have some school system saying, these are the classes you get to take. Here are the boxes you have to check and the hoops you have to jump through. And I think for me, if I could like design a school around like someone's interests. Basically it was like you would interview every student and say, okay, what are your interests?
[01:02:08] Or some sort of survey and just figuring out what it is that they really care about and then just be like, cool, we're gonna build your curriculum around whatever the heck you already care about, and then we'll just track it over the year somehow, and then you'll be able, then you'll, you know, keep going through it because I think it's such a stupid like way of looking at school
[01:02:25] Chris Ruden: meaning you want to make formal education effective,
[01:02:32] maybe call me crazy, but
[01:02:34] come on and like, how would we have, you know, we'd have no more like basic office workers and people who are just mindless. Sacrificing their identity to a job that doesn't care about them.
[01:02:45] Erich Wenzel: Aren't there isn't the robots for that
[01:02:48] Chris Ruden: same thing. You know, we all have the ability to, you know, get a little bit more self-educated. So I'd hope anyone listening to this or any podcasts. That can help people do that. You know, kind of break free of the limitations that have been put on subconsciously by society or yourself or anyone around you.
[01:03:06] Sometimes you know, you're around a bunch of toxic people that limit your potential. So being aware, like we're going back to number one effect is just like just being aware of who you are, what you're doing, and if you can do something to make it a little bit better.
[01:03:22] Reflecting and the compound effect
[01:03:22] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, it's really. It's funny how when you look at things as, it's just a long game where you can say, okay, here we go.
[01:03:30] We're just gonna start doing this. You know, little by little every day. And then when you ironically, because it's like the new year right now, you know, when you start to reflect on it, like this is the one time of the year most people actually take the time to reflect. You realize you've come a lot farther than you realize you could have.
[01:03:46] You know? And sometimes it's just kind of putting the goal out in front of you and saying, all right, there's the target, and I am going to make sure I don't miss it. And it's not the big jumps that matter most. It's the things, I think it's a quote by Archilochus. It's, we don't fall to the level of our own.
[01:04:04] Oh man, I'm going to, it's something, I forget the first part of it, but it may be we don't, we fall in love with our training.
[01:04:09]Chris Ruden: yeah. I mean I read the compound effect. I hate, I hated book, but I loved it. But I hated it because I feel like it personally attacked me. Really? Yeah. It's just, it was one of those things that it, my biggest problems are a compound effect.
[01:04:25] Like these little things that add up, you know, I, you probably heard the penny thing like. When asked, you know, would you rather a penny a day doubled for 30 days or $100,000 and everyone's like $100,000 and then you'd get million dollars if you just waited. You know, so little things that add up, you know, if you eat an extra 200 calories a day versus someone who doesn't.
[01:04:48] Over the course of six weeks, nothing changed. Six months, nothing changed. Six years you gained an extra 30 pounds. Now you have high blood pressure. You know when you have all these other problems. Yup. The little things matter because at the end of the day, those little things are going to get you to your goal, whether it's in a year or five years or 10 years from now, but 10 years from now is going to be 10 years from now, no matter what.
[01:05:09] You're either going to look back and say, I'm still glad I did those little things. Or you're going to look back and say, I wish I did those little things. Now I have 10 more years to go.
[01:05:17] Erich Wenzel: Yeah.
[01:05:18] Chris Ruden: If time's going to pass no matter what, you might as well do the little things.
[01:05:23] What are Chris' little things?
[01:05:23] Erich Wenzel: So what little things are like your anchors for you, like, and maybe in a day or in a week, like what do you have to do that make sure you're on track?
[01:05:35] Chris Ruden: So I have a little weird bit of a life, so I'm all over the place. You know, this year I did over 40 events, so I'm constantly on the road. I make sure that I have at least one. Super intimate, valuable conversation with someone where I give them my utmost time, regardless of how long it takes. Sometimes people want to spell their whole life for me.
[01:05:55] You know, that sharpens me as a person who gives value and it sharpens me as a person who listens and cares and is empathetic to people who. Or struggling with something causes the concept of struggle. You know, having real conversations is one of my biggest things that keeps me on track. It's a reminder that I'm doing what I need to be doing and that it's on track with my mission.
[01:06:18] So that conversation can be at an event, it can be in the supermarket, it can be at the gym. Being available to other people and understanding that relationships are some of the most valuable things you could ever have. We're losing that heavily where society is right now. When you go to a restaurant, if you're by yourself, most people like, Oh, I haven't ever gone to a restaurant by myself.
[01:06:42] That's weird. If you go somewhere by herself and you talk to someone, that's a real relationship. The other day I was at a restaurant and I sat at the bar just, I don't drink, but I was eating, so it'd be some guy, older guy started talking to me, so I turned my chair to face him. Body language, eye contact, all that good stuff.
[01:06:59] You're not real communication stuff. Turns out he owned some crazy large Coldstone brewery and some like crazy large companies that he wants to help me out with some business stuff just because I listened to him how to win friends and influence people. Another great book, but
[01:07:18] Erich Wenzel: it comes up a lot.
[01:07:19] Chris Ruden: Seriously, you know, being able to have real, real communication, not just for what you get out of it, but you never know what kind of value and impact you could have on someone's life just by talking to them. So that's, that's my main thing.
[01:07:31]Erich Wenzel: I just love conversation. You know, podcasts for me was, I love the format, like just the entire thing and you in conversation is.
[01:07:39] Chris Ruden: I've been on a few podcasts, whereas honestly it made me want to put salt in my eyeballs. Yeah. Because some are just about. The core message and not about genuine authenticity. That drives me insane. If you haven't got by this podcast now, authenticity is kind of important to me.
[01:07:57] What is authenticity?
[01:07:57] Erich Wenzel: So how do you define authenticity? Because I think authenticity is such a weird word. It's analogous to passion or something like that.
[01:08:04] This has become a word like toxic, and now everyone uses it in their captions and stuff.
[01:08:08] Yeah, it was because everyone's like, I want to be authentic. You know
[01:08:11] Chris Ruden: that if you want to be authentic, you're already not authentic, right? It's your authenticity to me is truly being who you feel you are regardless of the situation.
[01:08:23] So how I talk to you is how I talk to CEOs. It's how I talk on stage. If you think that I go on stage and wear a 10 piece buttoned up suit and look like a monkey and say raw, raw, raw stuff, that is not how this goes. You don't even have to see me to imagine how I probably look for me, who I am and the value I give the, those don't change.
[01:08:49] I don't have to change who I am around, so I don't have my professional voice and my situational voice, and I'm always this way.
[01:09:00] Erich Wenzel: It sounds like you've done the work to understand who you are, right? Like starts again. We echo the awareness of yourself, right? The self-awareness to
[01:09:10] Chris Ruden: Know who you are. And you've gotta be unwavering that, and if you're an issue, start to change who you are in certain situations.
[01:09:17] It means you never really knew who you were.
[01:09:20] Don't be a puzzle piece trying to fit in
[01:09:20]Erich Wenzel: I said that's so, it's so powerful too, because I think most of the time through life we, we go through life trying to fit ourselves within the cultural context of the people around us. You know, especially when at a young age with school and the different cliques between the jocks and the, you know, the cool people or whoever it is, and you just look at those people are like, how do I fit into that group? When in reality it has nothing to do with fitting in. It's how you do it. Express yourself, that feels right to you.
[01:09:51] Chris Ruden: That's literally it. That like we're, we're trained to be a puzzle piece in a non puzzle world. And you know, by the time you feel like you finally formed your puzzle piece and you go into the real world after college, you realized, no one cares.
[01:10:05] No one cares that we have an Audi in any, no one cares that you're the corner piece. No one cares that you were the jock in high school like yup. At the end of the day, if you're a crappy person and you're not adding, I'm going to say the word value, but if you're not really, you know, helping other people around you, it doesn't mean giving people millions of dollars.
[01:10:23] It doesn't mean being Gary Vee. It literally means holding the door open for that lady. Regardless of how busy you are, being a decent human being. You know? Yeah. It's really not hard. It's really,
[01:10:38] Bettering yourself and being selfish
[01:10:38] Erich Wenzel: This is a super important topic for me because I think some people get lost in the weeds about bettering themselves.
[01:10:46] Sounds selfish. Right? And it sounds fluffy and
[01:10:49] Chris Ruden: You just hit the word that I lose my mind on. So keep going, please.
[01:10:53] Erich Wenzel: But what I'm getting at is, it sounds like you're doing it for yourself. Right. And I don't, I hate it because it, I think when you figure yourself out, you're able to then have more leftover to help everyone else around you because if you got your shit figured out, then you're able to look like come home from work or go to work and you're more productive at work and your boss is happy because they don't have to pay you overtime.
[01:11:16] If you get paid overtime or whatever and you get to go home. And you can still go to the gym and you show for your friends and family and they see how much you're able to just be there. That it makes them want to be better people too. Like I just really believe in the power of the individual and giving them the tools to show up about who they are and be as express themselves to their fullest potential because we all have more, you know, in our tank no matter what.
[01:11:45] Chris Ruden: Oh man, you just opened up a can of fucking worms. Okay, cool. Let's go. Let's go. Alright, so you did the selfish thing. Yeah. I love this. So let's take someone who volunteers at a homeless shelter. Okay. You volunteer at a homeless shelter. Why did you do it?
[01:12:05] Erich Wenzel: Because it makes you feel good
[01:12:06] Chris Ruden: cause you're that selfish, right?
[01:12:08] Wow. Well everything you do in your life is selfish, right? Every, every, literally, if you get up out of bed and you go pee, you're going to pee because you have to do it. Cause it makes you feel better when you do it. If you give someone gifts, it makes you feel better. If you do anything, if you donate tons of money, it makes you feel better.
[01:12:24] Everything you do in your life is selfish because it is your life. And the word selfish does not have a negative connotation on it. It has. No connotation on it. There is no emotion attached to it except for the emotion you attached to it. You have to be selfish before you can be selfless because you cannot build on a foundation that was never there.
[01:12:43] You can't build a building from the 52nd floor down. You have to start at the foundation and the foundation is taking care of yourself first so you can be selfless later. Okay. now people are like, Oh, you shouldn't, you shouldn't give food to the homeless and post it on social media. That's fucked up.
[01:13:02] You just plowed through that. Yes. What? I'd rather have a thousand people giving homeless people food and posting on Instagram than zero people doing it talking about cloud chasing.
[01:13:12] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. Because it's the message.
[01:13:15] Chris Ruden: It's not a, why would I care that it gets done? I don't care what you do with it. I don't care if you put it on Tumblr, Twitter, Myspace.
[01:13:21] I don't care. Oh, you want to post it? Cool. Give them two burgers. Do you want to post it? Give them 10 bucks. You want to post it? Everyone posted. Great. Oh, congratulations. You want to know why? If you want clout, I'll give it to you. I'll like your shit. I have a blue checkmark. Does that make you feel better?
[01:13:37] Great. Good job. At the end of the day. Better things are getting done and I don't care why you're doing the Y in that case doesn't matter to me because at the end of the day, you were helping other human beings. I don't give a fuck because it will helps. Human beings are still doing it because it makes them happy.
[01:13:54] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. I think it's funny. For me because they let you hear all these people on social media and things like that. They get cynical about other things. Like, I don't know if you've heard of
[01:14:02] Chris Ruden: It makes me so angry,
[01:14:04] Erich Wenzel: like the ocean cleanup project. I don't know if you've heard of that, where they have the, the Island in the Pacific with all the plastic and stuff like that.
[01:14:12] So there's a, there's a big Island of plastic in the Pacific ocean and it's just kind of collecting there. They just found this spot and it just, where all the garbage that gets thrown in the ocean kind of seems to collect. and there's a company. he, he's a CEO from our, he started this project when he's 16.
[01:14:27] He had this crazy idea that said, why don't we start trying to solve this problem? You know, because if no one else is going to do it, well, you know, if, if not me, then who? Right. Or if not now, then when, and he basically started at 16 and it's taken him like seven years to finally get like a prototype of this thing.
[01:14:45] Leaving the world better than we found it
[01:14:45] Like, it's kinda like a boat that pulls the plastic out of the water. But then there's these detractors that are on the, on the sidelines saying, I hope this fails. Like why are we wasting money on something that is not going to really make an impact in all of this crap? And it just, it drives me up a wall because if, if we could turn, every one of those people who sits on the sideline says, I hope this fails and turn them into someone who's actually going to try and make a positive impact on things, then all of a sudden we're actually to able make positive impact for the next generation of human beings that come to this planet that.
[01:15:18] You know, why can't we just try to leave the planet better than we found it. Yeah.
[01:15:22] Chris Ruden: You're literally at like, whether it's about the planet or the people on the planet, I don't care what you do as long as you do it. I don't care if you call your mom and tell her, I don't care if you text everyone in your phone book that you did it.
[01:15:35] I don't care people. That's not right. I mean, that's not right. It's better than what you did, Jack. Shit you did was sit with bad posture on your phone or your computer, attacking people who are actually doing good, accusing them of clout chasing and when in reality, all you are is participating in the cancel outrage culture with a Pitchfork and you have no clue what you're arguing about.
[01:15:59] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, it makes me, I'm getting emotional over here because I, this is like such a huge topic for me of just trying to, cause
[01:16:05] Chris Ruden: This makes me want to do a video on it because I cannot stand when people, a buddy of mine does this all the time in Chicago where he gets you buys like 80 burgers and just goes pass them out.
[01:16:16] He's been doing this for Amber, you know, and people, I post this just to get credit for it. He literally posts. He posts what he does, everything, everything in his life. This is one of the things he does in his life. No one ever gets angry about the stuff you posted except for this just the burger thing.
[01:16:34] They're never like, I can't believe you posted you going to the gym.
[01:16:38] Erich Wenzel: I mean, isn't it, wouldn't that be the same as getting mad at a nurse or a doctor? Technically speaking? Why do we respect them?
[01:16:46] Chris Ruden: We paid to do it. I can't believe they're getting paid to do.
[01:16:49] I don't know why I never thought of this that way.
[01:16:51] It's so stupid, dude. So like. Literally go on post poster stuff. You know, you want to close to you doing good? Great. Whether you close or not. No, I'm proud of you.
[01:17:00] Sharing what you create
[01:17:00] Erich Wenzel: Like it feels weird for me, like just to bring it back to a personal example, like I feel super weird sharing my podcasts, like, like putting ads on Facebook or whatever.
[01:17:10] Not really ads, but like sharing it out there or like by creating links or whatever it is, and like selling myself or selling the podcast. And it was always a struggle. Like my friends are like, you gotta try and put it out there in the world more. And I'm like, but it just makes you like, leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it just feels disingenuous because I'm way more comfortable expressing myself in a format like this or in front of another person.
[01:17:33] And I can express the real emotion about it where instead of just, you know, wall of text, Yeah. On a Facebook or Twitter post or something like that.
[01:17:41] Chris Ruden: Oh, for sure. I mean, for me, I, my speaking is so much better in person than it is like on a video, YouTube videos, stuff like that. But I feel most comfortable in where I feel most comfortable, and that's okay.
[01:17:54] I don't have to try and be something I'm currently not better at doing that if I wanted to, but at the end of the day, I'm really happy.
[01:18:03] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. I think that's really important, but like for me to re like lately I've reframed it now to be able to say, it's not about, you're not posting this because you're trying to promote.
[01:18:14] You're your own personal thing. You're promoting this, the person that is the guest, you know, you're,
[01:18:20] Chris Ruden: you're yourself, man. Like you really don't. What you're doing is putting out good information in the world. It should feel bad ever. Yeah. It feels bad is cause a lot of times we have that either imposter syndrome or that sense, like.
[01:18:34] Not, we feel like other people might think we're not doing it for the right reasons. You know, you are other people's reaction to you is not your responsibility. You can't, there's literally nothing you can do about that. At the end of the day, I guarantee some people think that about you and there's nothing you can do.
[01:18:52] Erich Wenzel: yeah. I know. We have to keep these voices at bay. Right. It's, would
[01:18:56] Chris Ruden: you rather hurt the people that would be helped from this because of fear of the people who don't matter?
[01:19:02] Erich Wenzel: No.
[01:19:03] Chris Ruden: Exactly. So screw all of them.
[01:19:05] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, that's, I mean, I, I have to tell myself that regularly because it's, you know, it's kind of like an uphill battle because of that weird little nagging voice sometimes.
[01:19:13] But it's, for me, it's one of those things, it's like I just have to kind of just, no, just keep going. Stay the course like you, you have this thing.
[01:19:24]Chris Ruden: It's always one of those things that we're constantly going to push a rock up the Hill just for it to roll back down and do it again. Especially where society is today, but I will always push that rock just because of my mission and the people I value. Are so much more important than the lack of validation I get from people who don't matter.
[01:19:43] Erich Wenzel: Man. Chris, you are a powerhouse.
[01:19:46] Chris Ruden: I appreciate you. It's been a fun conversation. I love anytime I can just get super authentic and like go in. I started to get hyped up too. I'm like, damn, I feel like I just had some caffeine or
[01:19:57] Erich Wenzel: I feel the same way.
[01:19:58] Chris Ruden: It's like, start throwing shit off my desk.
[01:20:01] Erich Wenzel: This is awesome, and I don't want to take up too much more of your time, so
[01:20:06] Chris Ruden: you're good, man.
[01:20:07] Erich Wenzel: I got a couple wrap up questions here.
[01:20:10] Chris Ruden: Let's go.
[01:20:10] Erich Wenzel: And so the first one. Are there any bad recommendations in your area of expertise? Pick any of them. All of them. Whichever one, if you've got a good story, go for it.
[01:20:21] Chris Ruden: Or someone has recommended me something
[01:20:23] Erich Wenzel: like either recommendations like you here within your professional area, so like either in power lifting or public speaking, whatever it is, if people like recommend things that are just totally off base.
[01:20:36] Bad recommendations
[01:20:36] Chris Ruden: Oh, okay. So we'll take fitness, recommending saying X diet is the best. Diet is the worst.
[01:20:44] I hate someone. If someone ever says they have the answer. just know that it's marketing tactic and her standing because there is no such thing as the answer for anything. There's no one way for anything.
[01:20:58] I have trained tons of thousands of people to lose body fat. Yeah. Some people do high carbs, some people do low carbs. Some people do whatever the fuck they want because . At the end of the day, multiple roads lead to the same goal. You just have to find what you can adhere to, what works and what you don't completely hate.
[01:21:18] Now that concept, I'm applying to the gym, but that also applies to everything else, you know, with, with speaking, anything like that, people fear speaking. The worst advice I think that I've ever heard about speaking is that you should just not prepare and speak from the heart. That's the stupid advice in, it's like the stupidest advice in the world.
[01:21:42] If you don't have prepared value, you're just hoping that something comes out and by hoping something comes out, if it comes out wrong or bad or misinformation, you just hurt 50 a hundred, a thousand people who are in the audience prepare, respect your audience, and make sure you have something to give them, something to arm them with.
[01:22:01] You know, being prepared applies to everything as well. So a lot of these concepts. They're core concepts that applies to everything in your life, but not being prepared and always having the answer. Those are two very wrong answers.
[01:22:13] Erich Wenzel: Yeah, I love both of those categories. Like the diet thing for me is a huge thing.
[01:22:18] Especially nowadays in this modern world where there's anywhere from carnivore diet all the way to vegetarian.
[01:22:24] The desire to be in shape
[01:22:24] Chris Ruden: Whatever diet it, marketers ruin everything. So marketing has literally ruined fitness. Because we are selling the desire to be in shape and the desire to not do the work. Everyone wants to hang out at the finish line without running the race, and that's the programs we're selling today.
[01:22:41] So they are smart in marketing, but terrible in effectiveness.
[01:22:46] Erich Wenzel: Yeah. I like to think of all this diet stuff as the diet Wars. If we're going to pull on star Wars. I'm a huge, I'm a huge star Wars nerd, and so my idea is like just a whole, it's like a thing about this like idea. We're all winning. Like if you're in the gym, you're already winning.
[01:23:00] It's like if you're eating anything but the standard American diet, you're already winning. So which one works for you? Or which one?
[01:23:07] Chris Ruden: Ask yourself, what are you willing to not compromise on and what are you willing to compromise on? Then you have tons and tons of options. Yeah, there's a huge difference between a type of diet and caloric intake.
[01:23:19] So just to understand, you could be on any diet. All successful diets share the same principle of caloric control, total amount of energy. So whether you're eating lower carb or lower fat, as long as protein is equated, studies that have shown they have the same effectiveness in reducing certain body composition regardless of high carb, low carb, or high fat, low fat.
[01:23:39] So. I don't care what you do as long as you stick to it for a long period of time. I'd rather you be 80% on track for two years, then 100% on track for two weeks.
[01:23:48] Erich Wenzel: Man, that word consistency comes up so often for anyone who wants to do anything,
[01:23:53] Chris Ruden: Crazy how that works.
[01:23:55] Erich Wenzel: You know, tell it goes far, but talent doesn't go if, if, unless you're consistent or what does it mean?
[01:24:03] I misquoted that horribly.
[01:24:04] Absurd habits that you love
[01:24:04]I'm a little frazzled with my tongue right now. You're talking for an hour. Another one here is like, do you have any absurd or unusual habits that you love doing? Like be a part of a morning routine or an ending routine of your day?
[01:24:19] Chris Ruden: I've never shared this, but, yeah. I drank chocolate milk every day.
[01:24:23] I am so much weirder. You don't even understand. So. I have two, two types of stones. I have a small stone and a big spoon. I drink my chocolate milk, which is ness quick and Fairlife milk out of a red solo cup. I use the second line to adjust how much chocolate goes in there. I filled the milk up to the fourth line and I used the spoon to deliver the chocolate milk to my mouth.
[01:24:49] That is an obsessive compulsive trait that I have done since I was a kid. And I will never not fucking do it. That's 90 years old. So I w I am a muscle guy with tattoos and a badass prosthetic arm and you will see me doing this and I don't care cause it's what I love to do and I'll always do it.
[01:25:09] Erich Wenzel: That is so awesome.
[01:25:10] I love that you own that so much. It's so good.
[01:25:14] Chris Ruden: Anyone who really knows me, if you ask them about the chocolate milk, like, Oh yeah, it's weird.
[01:25:19] Erich Wenzel: That's so good. It's funny because I'm so, I'm only, I'm only, I'm 26. The only doesn't matter, but I'm 26 andI, we went for breakfast, my family on, right after Christmas. And all my brother and my parents both, I'll get coffee and I'm like, I want chocolate milk.
[01:25:38] Chris Ruden: I don't overdo it. I do it one cup a day, but still, that's something we'll always, always do. That's awesome.
[01:25:44] Erich Wenzel: I love that. It's so good. The specifics are perfect.
[01:25:48] A new belief or behavior that has improved your life?
[01:25:48]and then, let's see, maybe in the last year, what is a new belief or behavior that has most improved your life?
[01:25:55] Chris Ruden: [01:25:55] You said last year. Yeah.
[01:25:57] Erich Wenzel: [01:25:57] Or if you do five years, if you, if it's hard during those
[01:26:00] Chris Ruden: [01:26:00] the last two years would definitely be, you know, taking the glove off.
[01:26:02] So believing that my circumstances don't limit me, that I'm greater than like my disability. You know, I'm, what has happened to me doesn't stop me from being who I want to be unless I let it and nothing has power of me without my permission. So those concepts apply to the whole, like, just. Being unapologetically you.
[01:26:29] Advice to someone who wants to better themselves?
[01:26:29] Erich Wenzel: Boom. Yeah, I think that's awesome. And as a final wrap up question, if there's any message you want to get out to maybe someone who's like in high school or younger, or even if you're like, maybe someone's like a midlife crisis and they're trying to look for a change to jumpstart themselves, what would you say to them?
[01:26:46] Like what would you be your one piece of advice to get them moving in the right direction.
[01:26:51] Chris Ruden: Define what you want out of life. Determine what you need to do and spend one hour a day doing it. That's it. If you were to do that every single day for the rest of your life, you'll be light years ahead of everyone, you know?
[01:27:07] Erich Wenzel: I love that, Chris, you are an absolute powerhouse with this stuff, man, you're,
[01:27:14] Chris Ruden: I appreciate you, man. This is a great, great, great conversation. And like, what do you do to give value to people is way beyond what anyone could ask for. So just knowing what you're doing is extremely valuable to people listening and to potential new people who will listen.
[01:27:27] Erich Wenzel: Awesome. And how can people connect with you? Chris.
[01:27:30] Chris Ruden: My name's Chris Ruden, so I have a website, YouTube, Instagram, all that stuff. Just shoot me a DM if you want to talk. I talk to everyone, so I'm not like one of those weird like famous influencer people who are busy posting my skinny, meaty and teeth whitener on Instagram.
[01:27:44] So just, yeah, message me and I'm always available.
[01:27:47] Erich Wenzel: Awesome. Thanks Chris.
[01:27:50] Chris Ruden: Absolutely. Thanks for having me.
"Everybody wants to eat, but Few Will Hunt."
Today on the podcast with Joey Bowen and Drew Beech, co-founders of the apparel brand and community Few Will Hunt.
Joey and Drew spent their daily commutes through the gritty streets of Philadelphia on the phone for a year straight.
On these calls, they talked about business and life — especially the trends of self-entitlement and shortcut-seeking they witnessed in society.
These trends made them feel alone in an ever-softening world. “Are we the only ones that still believe in the power of hard work?” Drew asked. Joey responded, “It’s like we say at my hunting cabin — everybody wants to eat, but few will hunt.”
This statement perfectly summed up their frustrations with society. It became their mantra.